PETA is God? They create new species: Sea Kittens

I apologize for my absence as of late. I wish I could tell you that the world is a better place because I was busy working in it. But, since I'm not accustomed to lying on a blog yet, I can only say I have been lazy. I did beat Assasin's Creed on the XBOX. Woo0t! But, enough of my digital adventuring.

My buddy asked me the other day if I heard the latest publicity garbage to come out of the PETA bum...I mean mouth. (Sorry, they open their mouths and only crap comes out. If it ain't a bunghole, I don't know what is.)

So, back to PETA; in an a response to the public's apathy for succulent aquatic life, the fish, they have started a new campaign called "Save the Sea Kittens." Apparently, we care more for kittens than fish. I can't disagree, a tuna roll sounds better at a sushi restaurant than a kitten roll. At least, in theory.

Here's their reason:

"...it's high time that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) stop allowing our little sea kitten friends to be tortured and killed. Who'd want to hurt a sea kitten anyway?!"

Well PETA, you haven't actually had to deal with my neighbor's real kitten. This black cat craps by my front door every morning. In fact, he is so sinister, he waits until I come back from picking up Jer every morning to just walk by. The last cat that pissed me off got shot with a BB gun. And she doesn't peruse my lawn anymore. She doesn't like being pelted with a pistol, so she keeps her fat waddle to the concrete.

Now, since "sea kittens" don't have the mind to actually poop in a "sea litter box," and just swim around in their waste, I would argue they deserve death. In fact, it is an honor to die and be dressed so tastily on my plate.


They should flock to my hook in an effort to provide nourishment for a more enlightened pooper. Not only do I have a civilized sense of mind to leave my waste in a "sea litter box," I can have my deepest intellectual moments during the process. And when I'm done eating those sea kittens, they can be rest at ease I will not fail to be a shining example by sending them home through the sea litter box.

Before, you think I am horribly insensitive to the plight of sea kitties, do you think PETA will save the ugly fish? How bout this guy?


Which fish would PETA save in this photo?

Oops...I think one was a sea human. We can't eat those.

Update: I had Talapia Kitten for lunch. We don't waste any time here being heartless bastards.