Fat people are a force to reckon with

I have just discovered the real source of global warming and revelation weighs heavily on my soul.

According to a study done by the School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine in the International Journal of Epidemiology, fat people consume more food than skinny people. Don't laugh, more obviousness is coming. Therefore, since fat people eat more, it requires more food to feed them causing the food industry to burn more energy and create more greenhouse gases. The study goes further to point out that when they travel, they consume more fuel. Captain Obvious strikes again!

According to reporter Ben Hirschler at reuters.com, scientists "[estimate] that each fat person is responsible for about one tonne of carbon dioxide emissions a year more on average than each thin person, adding up to an extra one billion tonnes of CO2 a year in a population of one billion overweight people." That is a a ton of fat CO2. Did you know that a ton of fat CO2 weighs nearly the same as a metric ton of pure revenge? Could it be that fat people are getting back at the world for all the cottage cheese thigh jokes? If that's true, I am willing to do my part. Someone send me a Big Mac, extra mayo. GO FAT WORLD DOMINATION!

But I wanted to know more so I dug more into this nefarious plot of supersized proportions. Last year, GreenDaily.com published an article highlighting bovine flatulence as Greenhouses' unappreciated red-headed step child. No one cares that although it's only 3rd on the list of offenders it "is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide; even though methane emissions are far below those of carbon dioxide."

Wow, this means that if I go get a Double-Double at In-N-Out, I'm sticking it to the skinny man with a double wammy. Yeah! Give me a four-by-four with animal style fries sir. I need to destroy all humans through my belly! Suffer the wrath of overeating you healthy dieters!

And as I see it, fat people are winning this war. 66% of adults are obese or overweight meaning we have a large advantage over our smaller opponents. Since, there are twice as many fat people as skinny people and 1 fat person can sit on two skin people at a time, we would only have to use 25% of our fat forces. If any escape into their hideouts we can flush them out with our farts. Who's gonna crack fat jokes then when fat folk are farting all around the world? Who's laughing now!

FAT FARTERS OF AMERICA UNITE!

Al Gore's "Inconvenient Truth"

Were you aware of the Earth Hour movement? It started in Australia and is born out of the Global Warming hoax...ahem...excuse me, it's now referred as "climate change." Not to travel too far down this rabbit trail, but it begs the question: When isn't the climate changing? Funny, freaky fact: Obama has just banned the use of the words: "terror," "war on terror," and "terrorists" from terrorist acts. They are now renamed "Overseas Contingency Operations." If I can restate this in non-gov doublespeak. It means Obama wants to change Foreign Policy when we respond to terrorist activities (Contingency = in response to). For the layman, preventing terrorist activities is not an option because we only have operations that respond to terrorists. They kill people first, then we act. How is this good for us?

I digress to more humorous hypocrisy, back to Al. So, Mr. Global Warming himself didn't get the memo that he was supposed to shut off his electricity last Saturday night for an hour. Here's the article.

Let me leave you with these thoughts:
"Do you really believe that what you believe is really real." -Del Tackett

Does Al Gore really believe what he preaches? Or perhaps, maybe he holds to a different belief, one that allows him to be hypocritical. I shall call it liberalism.

Thanks to Jer for the keeping me up on Mr. Internet.

Prepare for the return of Global Cooling! All Canadians say, "I told you so, eh!"

There are some of you out there who never bought into Al Gore's convenient lie...I mean, Inconvenient Truth. However, most of the world out there actually believes a politician when they open their mouth. This post is kudos for people who don't hold to the lemming philosophy.

Here's a link to the National Snow and Ice Data Center who last year stated, "Could the North Pole be ice free this melt season? Given that this region is currently covered with first-year ice, that seems quite possible." Today, however, they admit to "an error known as sensor drift caused a slowly growing underestimation of Arctic sea ice extent. The underestimation reached approximately 500,000 square kilometers (193,000 square miles)."

I wonder if people ever look past their noses to view life with the backdrop of history. I say this, because a century ago, scientists were spreading their doom and gloom over a global cooling. Earth's second ice age.

Thoughts for thinkers: If global warming is a hoax, then what things, motivated by greenhouse gasses, are also a hoax? Maybe, we can drill for oil now? Maybe, we don't need hybrids right now? Maybe, extreme environmentalists are actually retarded? I find it funny that the people who actually looked at the North Pole through satellite images google provided, saw the misinformation. Maybe, when Al Gore said he created the internet, we should have just dropped him like a fat kid needs to drop a snickers bar. Just a thought...

Thanks Brian for the article.