In honor of Brian

Osmosis

Some say their cats are intelligent. This one is genius. He communicates intelligence through his slothfulness.

This is for all my true geek friends

This photo is for those who:

1. Play Left 4 Dead more than Halo 3
2. Understand how to overcome a DR/5 slashing for a zombie.
3. Have compared George Romero's zombies to the ones from 28 Days.
   
4. Have actually devised a plan of action in case zombies did really begin to infect the earth.

100 POSTS AND STILL COUNTING!!!

Thanks guys for checking out my blog regularly. I appreciate you all and especially the comments. I think I'm going to set a goal of 300 posts by the end of the year with 1 vcast per week. Thanks for all of your support and I hope that I can keep bringing interesting and fun content for your cranium.

Enjoy today's edition of Yellow University.


HIV Breakout: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-porn-hiv11-2009jun11,0,2783528.story

Chron's Disease Teen: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/11/teen.self.diagnosis/index.html

Teen Tattoo: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/8104519.stm

Invisible children without legs

Johnny always knew he was different from his legless siblings. He was the normal one without the invisibility gene.

It's official, we won in Iraq because Colbert said so. I wanna be Colbert

I came across this vid today and thought you all might enjoy it. It seems he did his show in front of a live military audience. You can here them as Colbert cracks his jokes and there are some shots of the crowd.

Colbert, you are a white man after my yellow heart. Enjoy folks as he brings The Word.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Why Are You Here?
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Stephen Colbert in Iraq

Obama moves from Senator to Emperor

Did you know that America now has a Death Star? And it's near San Francisco. Follow the link to Colbert's Report.

Comedy Central

News Story

When everyone is charging it on the Obamacard, I'm glad to be debt free.

A humorous take on Obama's spending. In effect, let's deal with our problems by just charging it to our kids. YES WE CAN!!! But I wish we didn't. When are we going to realize that you cannot borrow your way out of debt?





There are some things [me] money can't buy. For everything else, there's Obamacard.

**In Scorpion's voice** GetInHereMinistries

After yesterday's "Don't Do It" song, I decided to check out the guys behind the magic. Their names are Johnny and Chachi. I already love it. Their official website is JohnnyandChachi.com. They produce all kinds of media for churches and ministries.

They have two videos I will post here. The first is some practical prayer processes to a better prayer life and the second is their 3 driving techniques to save humanity. I realize the last sentence was completely redundant, and so is this sentence when I reiterate a ridiculously redundant raving. Booya!

I digress, here is Killer Prayer Tips from youtube.


And News World Today with Johnny and Chachi


Enjoy the videos. I'll be back later today with commentary that explodes in hilarity and yellowness.

Added content: Man, these guys are men after my own heart. If you aren't a regular church goer, it may be hard to get all of the subtle sarcasms and jokes. I apologize if it is that way for you, but know that Christians are no different when it comes to jargon, group qwerks, and dynamics. We're a people who are forgiven and striving for growth despite our weaknesses. Now, with that disclaimer in place, allow me to point out one particular Christian prayer pattern I've perceived. You like that? Alliteration is amusing.

Have you ever noticed that people don't pray as if they are really talking to God? It's more like a letter to Santa. If you want to be a normal Christian that prays, you're prayer should follow this format:

"Dear Jesus, **pause as one thinks up wish list, but then remembers thankfulness**

Thank you for [insert arbitrary thing that one should always be thankful for]. Please help [insert name of a human] with [insert thing that human needs help with]. I also need help with [insert your problem and/or wish list request]. Thank you for [Praise something you like about God].

In Jesus' name I pray [Most don't know what this means, we just say it], Amen."


We might as well adlib this prayer. You remember those books from elementary school. They have you fill in adjectives, nouns and the like before you read the story. Then, when you read the story it becomes hilarious as you find that random insertions actually create a coherent story...most of the time.

I wonder, if we prayed like we actually believed we were talking to the creator of the universe, how dramatically those prayers would change. It may turn our adlib short story into some of the most heartfelt dynamic standards of literature equivalent to a work by C.S. Lewis, or Shakespeare.

If the relationship between humans is better in person, than through ink and paper, how much more our relationship with God.

UPGRADE: Watch out people, vid posts are coming!

RustyPang.com is now 2.0. I just got the Polaroid DVC-00725F for $99.99 from woot.com. I recommend that you check them out daily if your looking for cheap electronics and stuff. Yes, I said "stuff." It's technical.

Anyway, enjoy my first video in HD! And yes, I realize the thumbnail makes me look like an idiot. And since I am a video noob, you can benefit from lack of expertise. However, laugh it up now, because it won't last forever. Mwuahahahahahhaha...

Demon Puppies are REAL!

So, remember when I told you all that story where I kicked Janelle because of those demon puppies? Well, they are real. This cute little fella glows red in the dark.

And you thought it was a cute and funny little story. I think I may want to go to my bed and suck my thumb. Check out the pics below.

If you place them under a fluorescent light, their demonic nature is revealed.

Source: Newscientist.com

Fat people are a force to reckon with

I have just discovered the real source of global warming and revelation weighs heavily on my soul.

According to a study done by the School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine in the International Journal of Epidemiology, fat people consume more food than skinny people. Don't laugh, more obviousness is coming. Therefore, since fat people eat more, it requires more food to feed them causing the food industry to burn more energy and create more greenhouse gases. The study goes further to point out that when they travel, they consume more fuel. Captain Obvious strikes again!

According to reporter Ben Hirschler at reuters.com, scientists "[estimate] that each fat person is responsible for about one tonne of carbon dioxide emissions a year more on average than each thin person, adding up to an extra one billion tonnes of CO2 a year in a population of one billion overweight people." That is a a ton of fat CO2. Did you know that a ton of fat CO2 weighs nearly the same as a metric ton of pure revenge? Could it be that fat people are getting back at the world for all the cottage cheese thigh jokes? If that's true, I am willing to do my part. Someone send me a Big Mac, extra mayo. GO FAT WORLD DOMINATION!

But I wanted to know more so I dug more into this nefarious plot of supersized proportions. Last year, GreenDaily.com published an article highlighting bovine flatulence as Greenhouses' unappreciated red-headed step child. No one cares that although it's only 3rd on the list of offenders it "is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide; even though methane emissions are far below those of carbon dioxide."

Wow, this means that if I go get a Double-Double at In-N-Out, I'm sticking it to the skinny man with a double wammy. Yeah! Give me a four-by-four with animal style fries sir. I need to destroy all humans through my belly! Suffer the wrath of overeating you healthy dieters!

And as I see it, fat people are winning this war. 66% of adults are obese or overweight meaning we have a large advantage over our smaller opponents. Since, there are twice as many fat people as skinny people and 1 fat person can sit on two skin people at a time, we would only have to use 25% of our fat forces. If any escape into their hideouts we can flush them out with our farts. Who's gonna crack fat jokes then when fat folk are farting all around the world? Who's laughing now!

FAT FARTERS OF AMERICA UNITE!

1 more reason to never sag your pants

Have your ever sagged your pants? Does it disgust you as much as it does me to see another man's boxers in public domain? Do you wish you had a video to show rappers that it's not in your best interest to have your junk on display? This video is for you. Make sure you turn your speakers up to hear the dialogue.

Here is an excerpt from the video.
Black dude: It's cold outside.
White dude: It's cold? What's this right here?
Black dude: That is my [hammer].



Context is so important. You know the transcript made you think, "NO WAY! I have got to see this video."

And for you Joss Whedon fans, here is word from our dear superhero friend, Captain Hammer.

This is a tribute to Mega Man fans!

Notabale Quotables:
"MegamegamegamegamegamegaMAN!"
"I could shoot the legs off Jeffery Dahmer."

Thank you brentafloss.

Rusty Pang is now a 3D comic strip character

I feel like this artist is trying to tell me something....

UPDATE: I apologize, here is the link to the page for the full graphic. Unfortunately, it won't show up in full here.

What do you get when you cross mexicans and clowns? Border Patrol Fail.

UPDATE: I apologize, this video was taken from you before you even got to enjoy it, kind of like taxes...Anyway, here is the same video from another site. Enjoy.

Rusty Pang is guilty of negligence

My faithful Students of Yellow University of Cool Truths (Y.U.C. Truths), I apologize for my absenteeism. I have neglected this blog far too long last week. But now that I am back, the masses may rejoice in the restoration of all Asian standards. And man this week is full of news. I pledge to hold back the mass mobs of mediocrity, idiocracy and slap-you-in-the-face hypocrisy. Only if you hug and kiss my toenails endlessly. That might be a little tough to do through a computer, you know, the whole conversion of matter to energy is difficult. I guess I'm going to have to settle for your sarcastic, in-your-face remarks or "AHA" moments.

Keep yourselves in Y.U. to graduate into Awesomeness status.

Little naked boy training to kick in Superbowl, uh? Maybe not.

Awww, I wanna feel bad for this kid, but then I think, "I'm Rusty and I really want to make fun of this kid." I don't want to disappoint myself, that would be worse than being just a plain schizophrenic. At least I'm a schizophrenic who makes fun of little diaper kids who can't connect their brains to their foot. Excuse me, let me modify that, little diaper kids who, when trying to connect their brains to their feet, end up running around the yard to finally end up missing the kick again.

Did you guys see the dog at the end of the video? I've got some word bubbles for his thoughts, but I want to know your thoughts. Please, make them funny and post em!

Waaaaaaaaa! I'm a hippie. waaaaaaaa!

You had me at deforestation.


Notable Quotables:
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
"Waaaaaaaaaaa...**breath of air**....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Well, I think I have to be honest and say that I agree with the Hippies. There was a terrible tragedy, life did make the painful journey to death. Unfortunately, I can't tell who's brain cells just popped..theirs or mine?

Anyway, moving forward, I scrolled down to see something that would temp any sentient life form. "This is a video response to SHUT THE F*CK UP." I'm sorry, but I had to click.

Don't watch this if you have virgin ears. Profanity is explicit, but if you have a natural obscenity filter, like I do (earwax), then you will be able to hear the similar: "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" emulating from your monitor screen. And yes, I did just say your monitor produces the crying sound of a froed out, overweight, white boy football fanatic. Technology is amazing...Or is it?

It's Fabulously Fun Friday and today's highlight: Black Friend Finder

Yep, we all see them. We all want one. And yes, now you can get one. Folks, I'm talking about a black friend.

White people can now be relevant and don't have to feel out of place when they show up at the Black Expo (Yep, it's real, we went to it).

Notable Quotables:
"Blacks come educated or 'street.' It's your choice."
"I have one guy that was the only black guy in his high school...That's right...Oh, yeah, golden child."
"We're finding that it's good for young white professionals to have at least one black friend."